An Alvin Greene action figure?

It just gets stranger and stranger around here, folks. Deeper and deeper.

Alvin Greene isn’t just a South Carolina joke, but a national one.

Hang that, he’s gone worldwide.

He told The Guardian (out of London) that making action figures of himself might help South Carolina’s economy. No kidding!

As the Guardian so glibly pointed out, if the idea actually worked, it still wouldn’t help the American economy. But it might help China’s.

Just read the story for yourself:

Alvin Greene wants a Toy Story | Richard Adams: “

Guardian interview with Senate candidate Alvin Greene reveals his economic policy: making Alvin Greene action dolls

My colleague Ed Pilkington makes the trip to South Carolina to interview the now famous Alvin Greene about his bizarre US Senate candidacy and Democratic primary election victory. Ed does unearth this gem from Greene’s fertile brain:

It is clear, too, in the course of the two hours I spend with Greene that he has some pretty wacky ideas that, were he to win in November, would put him among the more unpredictable members of the Senate. At one point, he lurches off on his big idea for how to create jobs in South Carolina.

Another thing we can do for jobs is make toys of me, especially for the holidays. Little dolls. Me. Like maybe little action dolls. Me in an army uniform, air force uniform, and me in my suit. They can make toys of me and my vehicle, especially for the holidays and Christmas for the kids. That’s something that would create jobs. So you see I think out of the box like that. It’s not something a typical person would bring up. That’s something that could happen, that makes sense. It’s not a joke.’

Except that those sorts of things – plastic childrens’ toys – are all made in China these days.

The whole piece is worth reading, with a serious point, made when Ed gets a response from Greene’s father:

And the suggestion that he is mentally ill? ‘That’s an insult!’ The answer is barked out, with distinct anger. But it doesn’t come from Alvin. It comes from James Sr, who is shuffling past in his slippers just as we reach this point.

I turn to him and ask why he thinks such insults, as he sees them, are being levelled at his son. ‘Back in my day black people who registered to vote were turned away. They called the doctor and treated them as crazy.’

The net result of Greene’s eyebrow-raising election, though, is to hand the Republicans a very easy win in South Carolina. Jim DeMint, the sitting senator, was always going to win but Greene’s candidacy means DeMint’s free to raise money for, and campaign in, more competitive races elsewhere – the South Carolina gubernatorial contest for starters, the Kentucky Senate race, the Florida Senate race… take your pick.

Uhh, does he have himself confused with the Governator of California, or what?

At least Arnold Schwarzennegger has this action-toy business figured out.

Greene, not so much. Not unless you figure out a way to market a completely misplaced, unqualified moonbat first.

Oh, I forgot, that’s worked in a recent presidential election, too. 



Author: Eric Pulsifer

Eric Pulsifer is a veteran wordsmith with experience as a journalist, editor, musician, and freelance writer.

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